The desire to be liked is a fundamental human trait. It applies to various aspects of life, whether it’s in the workplace with colleagues, among both old and new friends, or even with a promising Tinder match on a second date. This innate longing has its roots in our earliest existence on Earth. The need to be liked stems from our intrinsic need to belong—historically, acceptance by a social group was crucial for survival. Moreover, it plays a vital role in our mental well-being.
Feeling appreciated by others can enhance self-esteem, instill a sense of worthiness (although one’s worth should not be solely determined by this), and contribute to overall happiness. As inherently social creatures, forming connections is a key aspect of our lives. If you’re interested in learning how to identify if someone likes you, you’ve come to the right place. We consulted Dr. Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, for her expert insights on the matter.
1. They initiate contact and communication
‘When someone likes you, they often go out of their way to initiate conversations and maintain contact,’ Dr Touroni explains, adding that this behaviour ‘demonstrates a genuine interest in you and a desire to build a connection.’ From a psychological perspective, she notes how ‘consistent communication is a key indicator of someone’s investment in a relationship, whether it’s a friendship, a work connection, or a romantic interest’ .
2. They remember and acknowledge details about you
There’s no better feeling than when a person remembers an obscure fact about you that you told them on a random Tuesday. According to Dr Touroni, paying attention to small details about your life and remembering things you’ve shared ‘indicates that the person values you.’ She continues: ‘This could be remembering your favourite coffee order, asking about your recent trip, or recalling past conversations. Such attentiveness shows that they are not only listening but also care enough to retain information about you, which is a clear sign of affection and appreciation’
3. They offer help and support
Dr Touroni suggests that when a person likes you, they’re often willing to offer help and support without being asked. Maybe they help out with a project at work or simply offer a listening ear. Or, maybe they’ll have no qualms about dropping everything to babysit your kids on a Friday night so you can arrange that second date, if it’s a friend. Psychologically, ‘this behaviour is rooted in empathy and the desire to be seen as dependable and caring, reinforcing their commitment to your well-being,’ she expands .
4. They make time for you
In today’s fast-paced, modern society, where we’re all juggling work, finances, social lives and prioritising our own well-being, a person’s time is an incredibly valuable resource. So, when someone prioritises spending time with you, it’s a surefire sign that they like you, says Dr Touroni. ‘Whether it’s making plans to hang out, joining you for lunch, or scheduling regular catch-ups, these actions signify that they enjoy your company and want to strengthen the bond you share’
5. They exhibit positive body language
It’s not just what a person says that can indicate whether they like you or not. Non-verbal cues can also be very telling. ‘Someone who likes you will often display open and positive body language, such as making eye contact, leaning in during conversations, and smiling frequently,’ explains Dr Touroni. Additionally, these behaviours ‘signal interest and comfort, indicating that the person feels at ease around you and is genuinely happy to be in your presence.’ Plus, psychological studies suggest that positive body language fosters connection and trust, further highlighting their favourable feelings towards you
6. They compliment and praise you
‘Compliments and words of praise are direct expressions of admiration and liking,’ shares Dr Touroni. So, when someone goes out of their way to acknowledge your achievements, appearance, or qualities, it shows that they appreciate and respect you. From a psychological standpoint, she says that giving compliments is a way of ‘reinforcing positive interactions and building a stronger relationship’, be it in a social, professional, or romantic context
7. They share personal information
Now, we’re not saying that someone has to give you their bank details and national insurance number to prove that they like you. What we are saying is that sharing personal stories and opening up about one’s life is a sign of trust and intimacy. Dr Touroni concludes: ‘When someone likes you, they are more likely to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, inviting you into their personal world. This level of openness indicates a desire to deepen the connection and create a more meaningful relationship’
